I'm UNspechless...

Assalamualaikum kawan2....
Hye...

Disebabkan bas rosak on the way nak gi kolej, maka, saya dan roommate saya berjalan kaki pulang ke rumah semula...

Tunggu Leela datang amek kat kondo ja...

Kelas start pukul 12 pun kan?

Hahaha...

Okay, sila abaikan grammar mistake kat atas tu...

Saja nak buat gempak ala-ala macam aku ni tak speechless pun...

Wakakaka...

Sehari dua ni...

Rasa macam best pulak mengomel kat blog...

Orang takyah baca pun takpa...

Well, depa bukan paham pun apa yang aku cuba nak sampaikan...

Aku pun dah tak paham dah lepas beberapa bulan...

Okay, let's talk about something today...

Do you remember about things that I write before?

BOYS ARE STUPID, THROW ROCKS AT THEM...

Actually, I've read this word in one of my hundreds novels...

And I also found this book in bookstores that I walk in...

Maybe I sound feminist, but, in reality, I'm worse...

Haha, guess what...

Sometimes I hate everything about boys...

Yes, there are stories behind them...

Stories that happens 9 years ago...

That I'll never forget...

That when I start to dislike boys and every single thing about them...

I start to learn more when I'm thirteen...

But the impression fade off when I'm fourteen...

Starting fifteen... I learn to make negative impression towards any boys that I knew...

Anything that I can think about...

I started to think that I don't want to married...

I just wanna stay home with my parents...

Okay, it sound like ridiculous for some of you...

But that's what I think!

When I turned sixteen...

Friends around me started to admire them...

I was like "Why do you like them? What's special about them? They didn't understand anything about girl and they just wanna make you cry!"

And in August, the turning point come...

He try to flirt me... and I would say, he was so brave to do so...

Well, because I dislike boys and I'm not outstanding and I'm unsocial maybe...

I didn't talk much to my batchmate whether it's a boy or a girl and that's normal in my school...

I talk much, yes... But not with people who I don't really close...

I talk much with people I don't know, and people I know by heart...

And that's normal thing for me...

I just talk and smile and laugh with my close friends and I'm totally ignorance...

I'm just a normal schoolgirl where nobody ever wants to talk about me and that's what I really like being me at the school...

But in the turning point, people start talking and gossiping about me...

Okay, that's problem...

But I don't care...

I never care what people wanna talk about me..

At least I know my friends do understand me right?

And impressively after a month, the talking goes away in girls dormitory...

And my close friends also didn't know bout it...

Not didn't know but didn't realize so much about what happening...

And in my last year in school, many things happen around me which revolve my world 360 degrees...

I becoming a new me where I realize there's always something for me to look forward...

Eighteen years old...

I was so addicted to novels and comics that I realize something that a girl always have whether they realize it or not...

And there, I wake up...

I know something was wrong about my impression and I change it...

But my negative impression never fade off every time I see boys?

And I can't do anything about that...

And unfortunately without understand anything, they increase my negative thought about them and they make my negative impression towards them becoming a cruel reality to my friends...

Because what I thought about them is true...

So, I can't help but stay as I always am...

I just can't change my thought how many times I tried...

I don't care what people may think about me by the way I'm writing it here,

But I try harder to change my thought...

Whether I'm just being egoistic or snobby, I don't know...

But I try to write as honest as I can...

Something that maybe didn't happen to anybody, happening to me...

And this is the first time I reveal it publicly?

And I don't mind whatever you think of me after this,

I just know one fact and I'm really grateful...

And let's the fact buries within myself because not everyone will understand it...

And I understand why I never understand why people tend to attract each other...

Okay, sebelum aku mula merepek panjang2 lagi...

I think I should end it here...

To anybody who may be offended, I'm really sorry.

I never thought of criticize anyone here and I just write what I think about...

It's my opinion and of course you have the right to oppose it but for the time being, you'lll never change my thought...

Thank you!

Hahaha... Aku sepatutnya buat essay Keynesian...

Tapi dok pi buat benda lain pulak...

Haish...

Dah2... study time!!!

Wassalam...